Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
