when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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