dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
