I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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