So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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