He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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