also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
