You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
