all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
