I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
