I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
