Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
