Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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