eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
