Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
