I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
