using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize