I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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