Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
