Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
cat food counts as protein by the way
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
