Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
