just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
