He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
