It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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