And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just had sex on a roof
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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