I'm so fucking centered right now
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
