If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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