Someone shit on the floor
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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