i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
