he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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