WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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