Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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