...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
