you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
