would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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