so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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