I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
