whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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