Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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