do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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