I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
