I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize