so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
