Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
