You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
