Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
