forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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