Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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