Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
