Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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