At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
