if i can run in heels then i can drive
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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