Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize