But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
