I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she told me i tasted like america
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
