Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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