I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize