Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
