He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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